“Let every voice but God’s be still in me.” A Course In Miracles
“I will remember that I am so much more than my fearful thoughts.”
The sound of a drop of rain upon a blade of grass is louder than the sound of a breaking heart.
A heart breaks silently and is often not recognized through the noise and distractions it hides behind. Activities of every kind can mask the breaking heart. It is well preserved behind blasts of rage and sobs of sadness and even screams of terror. It burrows beneath addictions and violent behavior. Few understand that all this chaos and craziness are signs of a wounded spirit and a frightened child crying out for the love that it is missing. The past has rushed forth to wreak havoc in the present and to cause alarm about the future.
To cover up our pain and fear, we judge the judgments, defend ourselves against attack and bury our heads under the blankets to protect ourselves from our own dark unseen places. We bully the bully and defend or attack the defenseless. But we never smile gently at the suffering soul and say kindly to ourselves and others, “You are so much more than all of this.”
All this acting out is but a refusal to recognize the breaking heart. All this being right at all costs while projecting blame upon the world outside is but a mask to cover our real need to be happy even when happiness seems impossible.
We find it too painful to look inside and see that the breaking heart is really a breaking open to a new identity, another way of seeing. It is a crack in the armor of our defenses allowing a sliver of light to shine through; a ray of hope for something better just over the horizon. So instead of quietly looking at the darkness that we feel threatens our existence we frantically try to fix things. We want to fix ourselves and everyone else thinking this is the solution for a better life. Without all this fixing what would be our purpose here? We don’t see the dishonesty in this way of thinking. We can’t see that true honesty is aligning our thoughts with our behavior. Our true thoughts always come from Love because that is God’s will for us. Love is a state of Being not of doing. And we must leave the fixing to the One Who can fix everything.
Truth is choosing happiness at the same time that we stop judging the world. It’s allowing our heart to break and accepting the pain knowing that it’s only temporary and part of the process of our healing. It’s giving up the past and being present to this moment with kindness and compassion and with trust in a Power greater than our small, suffering self.
It’s turning our face to God’s Light and praying, “Show me how my fellow human is not my enemy or even my business.” It’s accepting God’s will for us and for everyone knowing that God will lead us to where we need to be. He will tell us all we need to know if only we will listen.
God will harness our racing thoughts and give us the words to speak. We no longer have to try and fix the world from the vantage point of a breaking heart and a vision so narrow that nothing we do or say without Him is truly helpful to anyone. At last we can admit that we really don’t know anything and that’s okay because there is a Divine Power that knows all about all.
Now we can feel the broken heart healing bit by bit, moment by moment, shard by shard. The darkness grows dimmer and the light grows brighter. The fear weakens and the joy strengthens. We see that it is a great relief to lay the world’s healing at God’s feet.
With the screams of terror, the blasts of rage and the sobs of sadness all silenced by God’s healing Love, we can actually hear a drop of rain upon a blade of grass. And what a lovely sound it makes.